Wellness: The Missing Piece in Black Men’s Affinity Groups

Hey there, it’s Ayodele, and I’ve got something on my mind that I need to share. It’s been weighing heavily on me lately, especially after attending a few gatherings that left me feeling like something crucial was missing. Let’s talk about Black men’s affinity groups.

My journey has been a winding road, from civil engineering to education, from the classroom to leadership roles. Through it all, I’ve come to understand the vital importance of fostering connections, building communities, and nurturing wellness—especially for Black men in leadership positions.

In recent years, I’ve noticed a trend in these affinity groups. They gather with a noble purpose—to uplift, support, and empower one another. Yet, somewhere along the line, the focus seems to shift. Instead of prioritizing wellness, healing, and joy, the conversation tilts heavily towards work, productivity, and performance.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for professional development, contributing to the community, and excelling in our respective fields. But what about us? What about our wellness? What about creating spaces where we can slow down, check in with one another, and truly connect on a deeper level?

I’ve observed this recurring pattern time and again. At the outset of these gatherings, there’s a tangible feeling of exhaustion and burnout among participants. They candidly express their experiences of feeling overworked, undervalued, and isolated. Interestingly enough, amidst these challenges, there’s a spark of hope—a rejuvenating optimism and a sense of vitality and restoration that arises from discovering genuine camaraderie among fellow Black men.

Regrettably, as time progresses, there’s a noticeable shift in focus. The agenda becomes inundated with well-meaning expert speakers and panel discussions, and initiatives that, when added to our already overflowing plates, only add to our stress. In the midst of this push for professional success and community progress, a critical element seems to fall by the wayside. Where are the sessions focused on nurturing personal growth, prioritizing mental well-being, and reigniting our sense of joy?

It’s as if we’re missing the forest for the trees. While career advancement and community upliftment is important, leadership encompasses so much more. It’s about fostering holistic well-being, nurturing authentic connections, and reclaiming the joy that fuels our resilience. Until we prioritize these aspects within our affinity groups, we risk perpetuating cycles of burnout and disillusionment.

As the founder of Black Male Educators Talk (BMEsTalk), I’ve witnessed the power of creating psychologically safe and culturally affirming spaces. Spaces where Black men can explore their identities, challenge cultural stigmas, and reclaim their masculinity. These are the spaces where healing begins, where authentic connections are forged, and where our full leadership potential can be unlocked.

It’s time to shift the narrative. Let’s create spaces that honor our humanity, celebrate our achievements, and support our journeys towards holistic wellness. Because when we invest in our personal growth and reclaim our joy, we not only become better leaders but also inspire those around us to do the same.

So, here’s my call to action. Let’s not squander this opportunity. Let’s not settle for surface-level conversations or token gestures towards wellness. Let’s demand more from our affinity groups, our leaders, and ourselves. Let’s create more spaces that honor our humanity, celebrate our joy, and cultivate our collective healing.

Because when we invest in our wellness, when we prioritize our joy, when we center healing in our lives—that’s when we truly become the dynamic servant leaders we were meant to be.

In solidarity,

Ayodele